Evil Holiday Weight Gain!
November 10, 2009 08:25 AM
The Ultimate Fitness Conundrum
The Holidays are here. For some, the notion of packing on the Inevitable Holiday Party Poundage is more frightening than a lump of coal in your stocking. Christmas, Chanukah, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve and Kwanza….a virtual Diet Armageddon!!
Let’s step back and take a look at this Fitness Conundrum, shall we?
The Holidays are here. For some, the notion of packing on the Inevitable Holiday Party Poundage is more frightening than a lump of coal in your stocking. Christmas, Chanukah, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve and Kwanza….a virtual Diet Armageddon!!
Let’s step back and take a look at this Fitness Conundrum, shall we?
Everyone works hard to slim down to fit into that perfect little, Little Black Dress. Everyone works hard to walk into a room and WOW ‘EM with their awesome figures, sculpty arms, and high, tight butts. Yet, year after year, It never seems to fail that come New Year’s Eve, that little, little black dress is a little TOO little. Those sexy tight party jeans that went with that smashingly perfect top are tight in all the wrong places and that once perfect top now makes your arms look like over stuffed sausages. What the hell happened?! How could this twisted morphing occur in the expanse of a few, measly weeks?!
You rush to the gym in a panic. There’s that humungous New Year’s Eve party where that Cute Guy you met through a friend when you went on a coffee run to Starbucks (which you usually NEVER do) and he offered you his napkin when you dribbled scalding hot Latte Frost down the front of your shirt, is going to be! You have to go looking amazing. But you don’t….you did….but you don’t now. It was those work parties and that chick from accounting who kept bringing in cookie platters. It was 3:30 pm (The Snacking Hour!) and you just had to have a few bites.
Fix it. Gotta Fix it…You’ve got 2 days. You’ll just stop eating and do one of those All Liquid Celebrity Colon Blow diets and workout for 6 hours a day; before AND after work. That should do that trick….
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
That, my friends, is a certain path to embarrassing fainting spells in front of the very people you aim to dazzle. It makes no difference how many pounds you sweated off and pooped out if your depleted frame is sprawled on the floor and your eyes are rolled up in your head. You don’t want to be the life of the party in that pose.
So, what, exactly, is The Great Undoing of a Diet and Fitness Plan over the course of the holidays? It’s Dropping the Stability Ball in lieu of a High Ball.
Yep…that’s it, in a nutshell. Dudes, you have to keep it together. It’s okay to party do. I plan to be doing plenty of it myself…
Just keep coming to the gym and working out. You already look great! A few more cheese balls or sliders here and there is not going to torpedo your fitness program. Just do everything in moderation.
Here are a few tips:
*Don’t go to a shindig on an empty stomach. I know that trick. You think to yourself “If I don’t eat all day I’ll feel skinnier in my sultry little outfit.” Oookay…then when you get there you make a beeline for the buffet table and nosh your brains out. Keep those brains in your skull where they belong. Eat before, a little during and a little after.
*Watch out for the booze. It’s a Diet Terminator!
*Don’t beat yourself up if you do over indulge. Just slip back down to your normal ”Non-Party Panic” mode and it’ll all shake out in the wash.
The Magic Holiday Word is…
Consistency.
May sound boring, but it’s fool proof, Guys and Dolls. And it’s actually fairly easy. Don’t miss a beat to keep the beat going. Know what I mean?
Happy Holidays, kids! Relax and enjoy yourselves. I know I’ll be doing the same thing. See you at the gym.
Cheers!
Your Fabulous Instigator
You rush to the gym in a panic. There’s that humungous New Year’s Eve party where that Cute Guy you met through a friend when you went on a coffee run to Starbucks (which you usually NEVER do) and he offered you his napkin when you dribbled scalding hot Latte Frost down the front of your shirt, is going to be! You have to go looking amazing. But you don’t….you did….but you don’t now. It was those work parties and that chick from accounting who kept bringing in cookie platters. It was 3:30 pm (The Snacking Hour!) and you just had to have a few bites.
Fix it. Gotta Fix it…You’ve got 2 days. You’ll just stop eating and do one of those All Liquid Celebrity Colon Blow diets and workout for 6 hours a day; before AND after work. That should do that trick….
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
That, my friends, is a certain path to embarrassing fainting spells in front of the very people you aim to dazzle. It makes no difference how many pounds you sweated off and pooped out if your depleted frame is sprawled on the floor and your eyes are rolled up in your head. You don’t want to be the life of the party in that pose.
So, what, exactly, is The Great Undoing of a Diet and Fitness Plan over the course of the holidays? It’s Dropping the Stability Ball in lieu of a High Ball.
Yep…that’s it, in a nutshell. Dudes, you have to keep it together. It’s okay to party do. I plan to be doing plenty of it myself…
Just keep coming to the gym and working out. You already look great! A few more cheese balls or sliders here and there is not going to torpedo your fitness program. Just do everything in moderation.
Here are a few tips:
*Don’t go to a shindig on an empty stomach. I know that trick. You think to yourself “If I don’t eat all day I’ll feel skinnier in my sultry little outfit.” Oookay…then when you get there you make a beeline for the buffet table and nosh your brains out. Keep those brains in your skull where they belong. Eat before, a little during and a little after.
*Watch out for the booze. It’s a Diet Terminator!
*Don’t beat yourself up if you do over indulge. Just slip back down to your normal ”Non-Party Panic” mode and it’ll all shake out in the wash.
The Magic Holiday Word is…
Consistency.
May sound boring, but it’s fool proof, Guys and Dolls. And it’s actually fairly easy. Don’t miss a beat to keep the beat going. Know what I mean?
Happy Holidays, kids! Relax and enjoy yourselves. I know I’ll be doing the same thing. See you at the gym.
Cheers!
Your Fabulous Instigator
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